One step, two steps . . .

Once again, it's late at night here . . . my favourite time of day . . . the frogs are out croaking and yet I still hear the flapping of the bats wings as they land in the palm trees near my room; the only sounds in the still darkness of night. Soon I hope the rain will start again. I love the sound and smell of rain on a warm summers night. . .

So much has been happening lately that like many of us, my head is still spinning when I attempt to sleep. The mind and body is tired and aching and yet there is a restlessness within me.

It has been a major time of shifting, sorting, healing and learning.
Transcending, transmuting and transforming
I am no longer that which I was; and yet who I am is still too come into being.

Each baby step has felt like giant leaps as time and again the old habitual patterns of behaviour, thoughts and feelings leapt out to entwine and entangle, to choke and strangle the fragile emerging changes.

Anger and tears, frustration and pain intermingled with dreams and hopes, passion and desire.

And as I carefully cocooned myself within . . .  from the outside world as much as I could . . . I knew this to be a necessity for both my protection and growth . . . and gradually, little by little I lost the pervading sense of guilt in doing so. How difficult it is at times to do what we know, deep in our hearts, is best for us.

As we approach the end of the year, instead of focusing on Christmas to the exclusion of all else (as I've done for most of my life), I find myself reflecting on all that has occurred during the year and the changes beginning to form within me.

Art in the form of painting and drawing has once again become all consuming as I attempt to express visually all these thoughts and feelings hammering around within.

Additionally I have spent a lot of time experimenting with different tools & mediums. Exploring a different palette of colours, different makes of pen and ink and the list goes on. Of course that has also meant endless obsessional hours spent online researching, locating and reviewing these art resources!!

Yes

Sometimes the soul and authentic self know far more what is needed, what is necessary than the conscious mind with all of its yammer yammer. . .

Yes

One step, two steps . . .

Words are not just words~

Illumination
courtesy of Dimitri Castrique

They say change is as good as a holiday.
And that can be so, (personally the holiday sounds good to me!), however one thing I do know ~ is that change is inevitable.

You can only run or hide from it for so long.
It will still be there when you peek out.

You can embrace it, attempt to control it, try and modify it, be fearful of it, gracefully accept it, procrastinate about it, or make it work for you.

Sure some of the changes that occur in our life we may feel we have no control over.
And I am quite sure we are all familiar with the 'mantra' ~ The only thing we can control in our life is our reaction /response to whatever occurs ~ (I'm sure you've heard similar sayings more succinctly put than mine!!)

The point is though, Change happens.
Sometimes it's so gradual or small we're hardly aware of it.
At other times decisions and actions are called for or needed.

I regularly come across people (on-line) who embody challenge, change and decision making with such positivity and confidence that yes, I do envy them a little bit. I admit it.

On the other hand though, I dislike the word 'challenge' soooo much. ( ridiculous I know)  It always conjures up an image of going into battle to 'win'. And of being ambitious and seeking out new goals to strive towards.

courtesy of Remigiusz Szczerbak

Tell me, how does one live a successful life (and you can define success any which way you choose) without ambition, goals and challenges?

I've never been ambitious or loved challenges.

There I've admitted it . . . oops!!

I've always been passionately 'driven and obsessed' to research and study various topics and issues and with Art and Creativity ~
The same could be said about my beliefs about human rights, about freedom, about the need to communicate and express what is within ~

So is this a case of semantics?

Of choosing words that we are more comfortable with?

Words that seem more 'safe' to us?

Courtesy of Dora Pete

And what does this have to do with change?

It's all about having a choice isn't it ?
About believing and accepting that there is 'no one size fits all'

More often than not, I embrace changes as opportunities for growth.
Actually more specifically ~ external changes ~ and the ones that don't disturb or confront 'core beliefs' about my self too greatly.
Because the greatest changes of all relating to self, ah well they produce fear, conflict and struggle within the self don't they ?

And those are the ones I'm working on most at this time, behind the scenes, in a safe place.

Isn't that what we all need; a safe space to explore and grow through change?

What do you think?

Deep Within ...

the complexity of one's nature, the fragments of self,

weaving and entwining, separate yet connected

attempting to become whole

from deep within ....

Deep Within ...

the past not forgotten,

its memories and experiences still alive and vivid in detail

filed away ready to be present at any given moment

the future awaits, its outcome unknown

from deep within

Deep Within ...

there lies the emotions and feelings

both fierce and protective

and gentle and loving

fragile yet strong

both happiness and joy

guarded and defensive

there lies the emotions

from deep within

© 2010  lindy klk

Inspiring women who have become my mentors....

The title given to this post would come as a shock to the women I'm about to mention for a couple of reasons.

1/. They don't even know me apart from some basic communications on Twitter!!
2/. They would hesitate and possibly struggle with the term that they are 'inspiring'

And yet they are in every possible way.

They epitomise 'Authenticity' and being 'true to ones self' on such a consistent and real basis, whilst maintaining their sense of humour, compassion and dedication in not only following their hearts and minds but in helping others to do so as well.

Their honesty in sharing themselves, their personal stories, their quirks and foibles, their ups and downs is not only a wonderful inspiration, but shows the level of integrity, commitment and wisdom they so willingly give.

You see, in sharing themselves with us, allowing their vulnerability as well as their strengths to be seen and acknowledged; they give us the gift of freedom.

Freedom to be who we really are, not hidden behind a façade or veneer. Not hiding behind shame or embarrassment. Not hiding behind our fears and anxieties.

Because of their gift, we are able to recognise we are not alone, we can be honest and learn to laugh and accept our selves, our strengths, our weaknesses and the potential that exists within us....

For many months now, actually close to seven months at least, I have been 'following' LaVonne Ellis at The Complete Flake and Kirsty Hall.

To be honest I am an avid reader and researcher, and it's not unusual for me to find close to 200 emails/ezines/newsletters in my (three accounts...don't ask long story!!) Inbox/es every day PLUS half that amount in my 'Google Reader' waiting to be read.!!

Now I tell you this because whilst I may be slightly loopy, when consistently refreshing and amazing people like LaVonne Ellis and Kirsty Hall post something in their blogs (which I subscribe too)........ I know to drop what I am doing and read them straight away.

They stand out.
Consistently
Regularly
and amazingly in so many ways.

They give me hope, they make me laugh and nod my head in agreement or give me 'food for thought'.
Wow,
now that is an incredible gift to me!!

Mentors who are Inspirational.

Series : Elements of Complexity 3 ...

pen and ink

Well the cropping of this photo (and let's not even talk about the wonderful photography skills with glass reflection!!) sucks big time.

Just for a minute I'm going to digress and mention that many many years ago, (often referred to by me, as 'another life time ago') I learnt, as part of our studies, how to not only use a Pentax SLR camera, which one manually adjusted, but also to learn the dark room processes of processing and printing my own negatives and photos.

Oh yes, I struggled with the technical components yes, (my brain doesn't do maths, sciences, and technology very well at all!) yet I still managed to take great shots.  Fast forward X amount of years and boy am I struggling with understanding this digital camera thing!! 

Okay back to the final images in this series of works.

The concept of weaving and webs is apparent with the use of the square & rectangle format to signify containment of  emotion and energy.

The Collins dictionary defines 'Contained .... as restraining, to hold, to prevent ( ) from operating beyond a certain area...'

The use of words constrained, restrained, and constricted strongly feature in many of my concepts.

They are of course representative of my internal and external belief structure and desire for freedom and liberation, knowing however, that our past, present and future are all entwined and inter-connected.

Wow we're getting into some heavy stuff here!

Series : Elements of complexity 1 ...

So this is what the finished panel looks like in its simple matt and framed.

Two tightly restrained drawings on the left and right, and in the middle the loose weaving .....