One step, two steps . . .

Once again, it's late at night here . . . my favourite time of day . . . the frogs are out croaking and yet I still hear the flapping of the bats wings as they land in the palm trees near my room; the only sounds in the still darkness of night. Soon I hope the rain will start again. I love the sound and smell of rain on a warm summers night. . .

So much has been happening lately that like many of us, my head is still spinning when I attempt to sleep. The mind and body is tired and aching and yet there is a restlessness within me.

It has been a major time of shifting, sorting, healing and learning.
Transcending, transmuting and transforming
I am no longer that which I was; and yet who I am is still too come into being.

Each baby step has felt like giant leaps as time and again the old habitual patterns of behaviour, thoughts and feelings leapt out to entwine and entangle, to choke and strangle the fragile emerging changes.

Anger and tears, frustration and pain intermingled with dreams and hopes, passion and desire.

And as I carefully cocooned myself within . . .  from the outside world as much as I could . . . I knew this to be a necessity for both my protection and growth . . . and gradually, little by little I lost the pervading sense of guilt in doing so. How difficult it is at times to do what we know, deep in our hearts, is best for us.

As we approach the end of the year, instead of focusing on Christmas to the exclusion of all else (as I've done for most of my life), I find myself reflecting on all that has occurred during the year and the changes beginning to form within me.

Art in the form of painting and drawing has once again become all consuming as I attempt to express visually all these thoughts and feelings hammering around within.

Additionally I have spent a lot of time experimenting with different tools & mediums. Exploring a different palette of colours, different makes of pen and ink and the list goes on. Of course that has also meant endless obsessional hours spent online researching, locating and reviewing these art resources!!

Yes

Sometimes the soul and authentic self know far more what is needed, what is necessary than the conscious mind with all of its yammer yammer. . .

Yes

One step, two steps . . .

Welcome to my Rants, Raves and Musings Blog!

Being Authentic ~

.I am independent!
. I love detailed work

. I have a weird sense of humour

. I am a 'work in progress'

. I always take responsibility

. I am good at 'avoidance'

. I am a procrastinator

. I am an INFP (Meyers- Briggs)

. I need 'alone' time and space

. I like 'deep and meaningfuls'

. I like constructive criticism

. I am able to laugh at my self

. I am aware of both my strengths & weaknesses!

© Lindyklk  2007-2010

Seduced by the on-line world . . .

I just wanted to touch base here briefly with an update of what's been happening lately!
To be honest these past few weeks have gone by in a kind of blur and I'm really looking forward to just stopping for a day or two and breathing!!!!

That's how full on it's been. I have done a heap of 'stuff' :

• met and connected with some amazing people, 
• read and commented on more fabulous websites than ever before
• joined  a great creative community space on-line
• participated in a number of challenges and projects
• been a supporter and encourager of others challenges
• learnt (actually that should read: learning !!) a great deal about my self through some personal development interactions and groups
• discovered good intentions don't always equate to actually taking action (durrh!!) and that thinking about doing something sooo much does not mean it has happened in real time!!
• finally got back onto my Facebook page
• Realised that 'Technically challenged' really is my middle name
• Worried over grown up children's lives and learnt the value in saying nothing just providing a listening post for them
• suffered another bout of bronchitis and the flu
• discovered the value of evernote
• subscribed via both RSS feeds and email to so many great websites that I've had to make new folders and discipline myself with an alarm clock as to how long I either attend to emails/reader and social media applications (Twitter: OMG !)
• still managed to look after 3 yr. old grand daughter, toddler 'puppy' of sons, (known as 'The big black beast' . . . the dog not my son), maintained housework (mutter, mutter), and trid to learn more business related applications

Yes it's been a busy time. Don't get me wrong, I know that for most of us our days start to blur into nights into weeks and we all spend busy lives trying to fit, squash, manage all our jobs, tasks, life in this way.

However, I have to admit that once again I have been seduced by the sweet delights, enticed by the tasty morsels of learning and inspiration gained via the magic of the net.

To the detriment of creating art.
And that is an appalling state of affairs.

So where do I need to regain some balance and my sanity??
You guessed it!

credit Mirko Delcaldo

Words are not just words~

Illumination
courtesy of Dimitri Castrique

They say change is as good as a holiday.
And that can be so, (personally the holiday sounds good to me!), however one thing I do know ~ is that change is inevitable.

You can only run or hide from it for so long.
It will still be there when you peek out.

You can embrace it, attempt to control it, try and modify it, be fearful of it, gracefully accept it, procrastinate about it, or make it work for you.

Sure some of the changes that occur in our life we may feel we have no control over.
And I am quite sure we are all familiar with the 'mantra' ~ The only thing we can control in our life is our reaction /response to whatever occurs ~ (I'm sure you've heard similar sayings more succinctly put than mine!!)

The point is though, Change happens.
Sometimes it's so gradual or small we're hardly aware of it.
At other times decisions and actions are called for or needed.

I regularly come across people (on-line) who embody challenge, change and decision making with such positivity and confidence that yes, I do envy them a little bit. I admit it.

On the other hand though, I dislike the word 'challenge' soooo much. ( ridiculous I know)  It always conjures up an image of going into battle to 'win'. And of being ambitious and seeking out new goals to strive towards.

courtesy of Remigiusz Szczerbak

Tell me, how does one live a successful life (and you can define success any which way you choose) without ambition, goals and challenges?

I've never been ambitious or loved challenges.

There I've admitted it . . . oops!!

I've always been passionately 'driven and obsessed' to research and study various topics and issues and with Art and Creativity ~
The same could be said about my beliefs about human rights, about freedom, about the need to communicate and express what is within ~

So is this a case of semantics?

Of choosing words that we are more comfortable with?

Words that seem more 'safe' to us?

Courtesy of Dora Pete

And what does this have to do with change?

It's all about having a choice isn't it ?
About believing and accepting that there is 'no one size fits all'

More often than not, I embrace changes as opportunities for growth.
Actually more specifically ~ external changes ~ and the ones that don't disturb or confront 'core beliefs' about my self too greatly.
Because the greatest changes of all relating to self, ah well they produce fear, conflict and struggle within the self don't they ?

And those are the ones I'm working on most at this time, behind the scenes, in a safe place.

Isn't that what we all need; a safe space to explore and grow through change?

What do you think?

Recommendations ...

If you haven't heard or seen Kirsty hall 's web site, you'll be in for a real treat...fascinating blog and her resources section for all creative people is just fantastic....Such a lovely and genuine person as well. I have been following her for some time now and am constantly finding new or great information!

Katherine Tyrrell from Making a Mark is also one of the most valuable blogs you could possibly find. A delightful person with a wealth of information, articles and resources. The links to her other sites are fantastic too.

Sometimes because I subscribe by RSS posts to my Google reader, I have found that I really miss seeing the actual blogs / web sites so am doing my best to visit as much as possible....although Reader is great for just reading through the posts, it really doesn't have the same 'ambience' as actually visiting the sites!!